again, best mom in the world.

my present to you.

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah. I hope everyone is having an awesome time with their family and friends. I know I am. Cheers!

Here's my present to you, my winter break mix. Enjoy.

It's the End of the Year a.k.a. Yes, I Do in Fact Like Wimpy Music and Hip-Hop.
1. "Titus Andronicus" / Titus Andronicus
2. "The Start of Something" / Voxtrot
3. "Gimme the Loot" / Notorious B.I.G
4. "Accordion" / Madvillain
5. "A Favor" / Okkervil River
6. "Black Sand" / Jenny Lewis
7. "Coney Island" / Songs for Moms
8. "Saliva" / Viktor Vaughn
9. "Can I Kick It?" / A Tribe Called Quest
10. "Drunk Kid Catholic" / Bright Eyes
11. "New York City Cops" / The Strokes
12. "Mastermind" / Deltron 3030
13. "Mushaboom" / Feist
14. "The Nigga Ya Love to Hate" / Ice Cube
15. "Oh Shit" / The Pharcyde
16. "Left and Leaving" / The Weakerthans
17. "D.A.R.L.I.N.G" / Beach House
18. "Urban Crop Circles" / The Gibbons

HAPPY HOLIDAZE, YA'LL!

reunited at last.

Best friends 4evah.

dig it?

Bernadine Dohrn is probably one of the only terrorists I'd do the nasty with. Hubba hubba.

catching up.

I got a digital camera a little while ago.

I spent tonight with one of my close friends who went off to Portland for college, Levi. It was really nice.

some days are good.

But this day was great.

FUCK YOU, WORLD.

Fall semester is over.

year end list: best albums of 2008

While this was a slow year for movies, it was certainly not a slow year for my turntable. So many amazing punk, hardcore, indie, and whatever else records came out this year that it actually became a chore keeping up with it. I did my best, though.

As the middle of the year was passing and I was already thinking about making this list, it occurred to me that doing a typical "top 10" would be impossible. Picking a top 10, let alone ordering them, would be too stressful: so many different records were good for different reasons and seriously, there were SO MANY records released this year. So I said "fuck it, I'll just post everything I liked this year."

So that's what I'm going to do. Only the first four are in any order. The other records I'm posting could easily be as good or even better than the four that are actually in order, but I really stopped trying to order them after awhile. This is a huge conglomerate of awesome shit that came out this year that everyone should check out. Some people would consider this "cheating," to just post 20+ records or whatever in no discernible order, but I don't really care.

Also, a fair warning: I sound like an idiot when I write about music. I don't really know to do it "properly." So bare with me.

One last thing: If I left anything out that you think was great and I was an idiot and just forgot to add it to my list, let me know. Of course, I'd have to of heard it, but I'm forgetful sometimes so it could happen.

So anyways, without further ado, here are my favorite records of 2008.

TOP 4

1. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS - "FROM THE BOTTOM" LP

This should come as no surprise to anyone. I've been talking up this band ever since I heard them last year and have been talking up this album ever since I got it. If you're looking the most solid punk release all year, this is it. Catchy as all fuck and more depressed that Sylvia Plath, I'm really close to calling this album a masterpiece. And you know what? I'm going to call it that. This album is a pop-punk masterpiece. I cannot name a single thing released this year that I listened to more.

For those who don't know, Off With Their Heads are a Milwaukee based band who, a year ago, were fairly unknown and released primarily only split 7"s with others bands no one really knew about either (Obvious exception: J Church split). They released the phenomenal debut LP "Hospitals" and pretty much from there the ball got rolling. They signed to No Idea Records, who released a collection 12" and this LP. While even I can admit (being the unabashed fanboy that I am) that some of their earlier 7"s are "eh," I can assure this LP is anything but that. This album will get stuck in your head, ingrained hopefully. It helps that some of the catchiest moments on this LP contain such lyrics as, "Until the day I die, I fucking swear / I'm going to make your life as miserable as mine," and "I might as well just kill myself tonight / I don't want to, but I don't see any other way." So awesome.

Again, I cannot recommend this enough. Buy it. Blast it from your stereo speakers. Make your friends listen to it. Sing along to it. Love it. Best album of 2008, easily.

2. OKKERVIL RIVER - "THE STAND INS" LP

As much as I am an Off With Their Head's fanboy, I don't know if my obsession with them can compare to my love for the almighty Okkervil River. I remember the exact moment I heard them, remember my first reaction it, and remember calling my friend Dane up right away and telling him I just heard the most amazing band. The rest, as they say, is history.

Anyhow, while I love this band to death their last album was, in my opinion, extremely lackluster. I felt like the "The Stage Names" didn't have the bite of Okkervil's earlier stuff, and was a much more conventional "indie" record than they're previous stuff. The darkness was gone, and in it's place was something much more accessible.

"The Stand Ins" strikes me as a return to what was working before with a few touches of "The Stages Names" put into it. And it works oh so well. At times upbeat and care-free, other times dark and pained, Okkervil's new LP is, realistically, what "The Stage Names" should have been: a progression, but not an abandonment of what they were. "The Stand Ins" is an amazing album, filled with some of Will Sheff's more personal and less story telling lyrics. "The Stand Ins" just feels more unabashed, more like, "This is what I want to say, so I'm just going to say it." And it's beautiful, because it works so well.

God. I love this band.

3. CURSED - "III" LP

I put this record on my turntable. I place down the needle. It gives back a low hiss and a slight pop. The first track starts. Feedback. Voices. "Politics of fear." I start to get uneasy, like having someone following you home and they're only three steps behind. It starts to build. I get more unsettled. Where is this going?

"Go shopping, go back to the mall. We'll take care of it."

And then, a fucking explosion of anger, hatred, violence, and evil comes flying from my speakers. It may seem hard to believe, but Cursed has never sounded so fucking angry. On their final album, "III", Cursed serve up their most vile release. It sounds like it was recorded in a garbage can (but in a good way): the guitars crunch, the vocals screech, and the drums pierce. It sounds so evil.

The stand out tracks are easily "Night Terrors," and the slow, hurtling "Friends in the Music Business," which ends with the repeated, spiteful refrain of, "Don't call me / I won't call you," which never fails to make me nervous. Just something about how he screams that over and over again really gets under my skin.

Excellent record. Sadly, the last this band will ever release, so cherish it!

4. DILLINGER FOUR - "CIVILWAR" LP

How many years has this album been in the making? Three? Four? Something like that. The point is that it was finally released and I couldn't be happier.

To be honest, what is there to say about D4 that hasn't been said before? Everyone knows they're the kings of modern punk. This album is catchy, has great lyrics, and is just fun to listen to. That's honestly all there is to say, really solid album.

Only one compliant: Eric only sings a handful of songs. The rest Paddy sings. Some people seem to like that. I'm more of an Eric fan, though, so I wish there was more Eric on this. Other than that, great album. Again, highly recommended.

The Best of the Rest
(Keep in mind this stuff could be just as good or better than what's in the top 4, I was just too lazy to really order these. Well, none of these are better than Off With Their Heads... but the others maybe.)

MIND ERASER - "CONSCIOUS UNCONSCIOUS" LP

Uncompromisingly brutal and heavy. Deciding to try something new, Mind Eraser ditched minute long blasts of chaos to offer up two 10 minute long songs that encompass the heavy, the slow, the fast, and the evil. A seriously awesome record that honestly has something for everyone. Put this on and destroy your room.

ALGERNON CADWALLADER - "SOME KIND OF CADWALLADER" LP

First of all, fuck this band's name. Second of all, I was at first very stubborn about this band. Their hype was as big as Mt. Everest and I was having none of it. I already have Cap'n Jazz, why would I need this?, was my thought process. I'm willing to admit I was wrong, though. This album is fantastic. Twinkly guitars, upbeat melodies, youthful yelling and an overall dream-like feel encompass this record and I love it. The title track is so good it should be illegal. If you like you're indie rock to be less serious and have more songs about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, check this band out. Really, really fun stuff that pretty much anyone could get into.

FAILURES - "SELF TITLED" LP

Been looking forward to this one for awhile. For those who don't know, this is one of those "super group" type bands, seeing as it contains members of: Ampere, Orchid, Aerosols, Charles Bronson, Das Oath, Cut the Shit, and plenty of others. And this record sounds like if you put all those bands in a blender. This record can be summed up in two words: Play fast. Thrashy, pissed, and snotty. This record is so great.

SONGS FOR MOMS - "THE WORST IT GETS THE BETTER" LP
(Couldn't find the cover art online... sorry.)

At the end of every KAMP Student Radio meeting, we get to dig through bins of new CDs that arrived at the studio for us to review. Usually, they're shit. Out of the 15 or so CDs I've reviewed, I maybe liked three of them. Anyhow, they had an LP sitting around in the CD bin. My friend Chelsea told me that if I reviewed the album, I could keep the record and just give the CD that came with it to KAMP. So, I took it. Free record, you know? Anyhow, I'm glad I did because this record fucking rules. It sounds like the Vivian Girls mixed Defiance, Ohio or something. Super cute, super fun, lo-fi punk. It's so good.

CULT RITUAL - "SECOND EP" & "THIRD EP" 7"

2008 saw a rise in fucked up, noisy, and disturbed hardcore and I am all for that. Cult Ritual is at the head this, in my opinion. Both of these 7"s destroy everything in their path, with walls of feedback and pained screams bellowing from their grooves. Evil at it's finest.

FUCKED UP - "THE CHEMISTRY OF COMMON LIFE" 2xLP

Some still hate Fucked Up some reason. Some people hate them after this release. I'll admit this LP is not as strong as 2007's "Hidden World," but this is still a quality hardcore record. People seem to freak out and hate bands when they try something new, so maybe that's why people had such adverse reactions to this? It's certainly different at times, like... sea shanty different. Still solid, though. Awesome record.

FAITHEALER - "BOUND AND CHAINED" LP

Dirty, grim, and evil sounding hardcore. Only way to describe it. I guess this was recorded something like a year or two ago but it only just got around to being released. Really good record.

EATING GLASS - "FEED THEM TO THE VULTURES" 7"

At times metallic, at other times more straight up hardcore, this release seriously caught me off guard. Didn't know what to expect and I was not let down. This rages so hard. It stomps and it blasts. Check it!

DRUNKDRIVER - "BORN PREGNANT" LP

The nosiest, most disgusting, most ugly sounding thing that came out all year. And it's fucking awesome. If you like to feel like you're trapped in a tin room with five chainsaws going at once with people hitting the walls with shovels, and some guy just screaming in your ear, pick this up. It should suit you.

GET BENT - "DEMO 2008"

I've listened to this a bit too much this Fall semester, I'd venture to say. It's only a demo, but goddamn, this is so good. Equal parts Latterman and The Broadways, Get Bent serve up a 5 song demo of instantly catchy and sing along-able songs. It sounds like the east coast in the fall. I know that sounds dumb, but thats what I see in my head when I listen to this. Get this if you like pop punk at all, please!

SHE & HIM - "VOLUME ONE" LP

Fuck you. This album rules. Zooey Deschancel, please be mine.

HARM'S WAY - "SELF TITLED" 7"

Oh my God. Kill fucking everyone when this record is on. This 7" is less Infest/Crossed Out sounding then their last one and more Integrity/Ringworm sounding. It makes me want to kill. It makes me wish I moshed. This record d-e-s-t-r-o-y-s.

HARVEY MILK - "LIFE... THE BEST GAME IN TOWN"

Heavy and somber, Harvey Milk serve up a whole new album of heavy-fucking-metal and grim folk songs. I still like "Courtesy and Goodwill Towards Men" more, but this album seriously delivers. One of those bands that are really hard to describe, but once you hear them, even if you don't necessarily like it, you can appreciate it and understand it. Really powerful album in all senses of the word.

IMMORTAL TECHNIQUE - "THE 3RD WORLD" LP

This guy does not fuck around. In his 3rd full length, Immortal gets only angrier and more intense. I listened to this exclusively for about two weeks. Nothing else. Just this. Those were a good two weeks. If you hate autotuned and hook-filled rap, then put this on. Dude is for real.

BLACKLISTED - "HEAVIER THAN HEAVEN LONELIER THAN GOD" LP

Lately, there's been a phrase being thrown around known as "Deathwish Hardcore," and pretty much anyone into hardcore knows what that means. If you like it or it leaves a bad taste in your mouth, it doesn't really matter, because some bands on Deathwish rule... but realistically most suck. Blacklisted is of the former variety. This is a solid hardcore LP that goes from the "Me vs. You" lyrical mentality of most modern hardcore and does a "Me vs. Myself" thing which is way better in my opinion. Into it.

Other equally great albums that I just got too lazy to write about -
Teenage Bottlerocket - Warning Device
A Silver Mt. Zion - 13 Blues for Thirteen Moons
Walls - s/t
Breathing Fire - Years of Lead
Sex Vid - Communal Living
Trap Them - Seizures in Barren Praise
Meneguar - The In Hour
Punch - Eyeless
Vivian Girls - s/t
Blah blah blah blah blah

Go listen to these records.

no one.

Like yelling into a swamp. It sucks it in and makes it devoid of life, meaning. Green and ugly and who even cares.

I will wander into grey.

no studying.

The sun's last rays tucked themselves behind the mountains. Day fleeting. Day leaving. Walking side by side. Cool air like a mint breeze. A woman.

She said: "You two look like young love."

We laughed. The sun died and it was given a sacrifice like a virgin who has been fucked a million times by the tricksters of the night.

where am i.

Heart goes taut. Held tight. Hung by a noose, it quietly whimpers. Heart burn. Heart ache. I want to punch a brick wall. Fuck up my knuckles and cry battery acid. Blind. Blind from every fucking word that was shoved into my head. Phone rings start to sound like wind: remote and transparent, blending into everything else. I feel light. Weightless. Don’t let go. I’ll float to the ceiling. The view from up here is shit. Nothing is clear. Nothing makes sense. Nothing looks beautiful. It’s all grey and old and dying and sad.

Where are the pats on the back? Where are smiles? Locked up and now fucked up. No one is fortunate enough. No one that’s me. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. But that’s your arm; you’re making me do it. Take it. Take it all away. Take every single fucking part of me, tear me limb from useless limb until I’m just a pool of blue blood, never touching the air and useless. I’m useless. My voice sounds of a radiator. Buzz. Buzz.

I’ll wake up and forgive and forget and fuck and be fucked. I’ll run my own car into the wall forever. Each time I wake up is in a dream. Endless tunnels. Endless doors. No end in sight. No light. Just my legs burning and the smell of burnt tire.

i could watch this forever.

new trailer.

The trailer for the new Steven Soderbergh/Benicio del Toro epic "Che" has just been released, and holy fuck, does it look excellent.

"How does it feel to be a symbol?"

books i would recommend to people who did not know me.

Has someone you don't know that well, but knows you enjoy reading, asked you for book recommendations before? I've had tons of people do this to me, and I usually give serious suggestions based on their interests or something like that. I've decided to abandon that and have decided to just recommend books that will make them think I'm crazy, perverted, violent, or all of the above. Keep in mind, these are all great books - just fucking weird books.

TROPIC OF CANCER BY HENRY MILLER

This book, minus everything profound and meaningful about it, is about an American in France who fucks. A lot. Like, I'm pretty sure 90% of this book is about him having sex. Also, I get the feeling that the word "cunt" is used more in this book than the word "the." Just speculation, though.

THE BOX MAN BY KOBO ABE

The story of a man who shuns society and identity and walks around in a big box, scribbling notes and drawings on the inside of it while being stalked by a man with a sniper rifle. All of Kobo Abe's books are admittedly pretty fucking weird, but this is his most well done. Seriously nuts, but also profound.

STEPS BY JERZY KOSINSKI

This book compiles small, loosely tied vignettes about terrifying encounters of sex and violence. Man watches girl have sex with donkey. Man finds women naked and battered in a cage in an abandoned barn. Man watches another man commit suicide in a public restroom. Man unknowingly has sex with a man. Man watches a man get beheaded. You get the idea. This book is about repressed imagination and the simple misunderstandings between people. But really, it's just about sex and violence.

i'll stay in forever.

Bashed head. Cracked skull. Broken fingers. Snapped wrists. I can’t find an ounce of care in my spit. Woke up, fucked up, thrown out, ad nauseum (ad nauseum ad nauseum). Who put me here? My father’s penis and my mother’s vagina. Those same exact things rear their ugly heads everywhere I go. I don’t want to listen to my dick, following ovaries like an invisible string attaches them.

Why am I jealous of the man who has the woman I didn’t even want? I wish my dick would separate itself from my body. Live it’s own life.

Burnt hair. Burnt flesh. Burnt. My veins pump carbonation. Just enough to get me through the day. We’ll fuck. I want to fuck. Fuck myself up on fucking. And we’ll play the games. We’ll do whatever it is the books tell us to do. My come is not some poetic elixir of life; it’s just something I want to get out of my body. Expel it. I don’t care. I don’t have an ounce of care in my come.

Stained bed sheets ever since adolescence. I’m sleeping in as late as I possibly can until I feel like a bigger piece of shit than I actually am. Until my grease from my nose becomes too much. Until my soiled bed sheets smell so bad that I have to rip them up. Snooze. White noise permeates my waking hours. Everyone talks in white noise. Nothing comes through. Nothing registers. Might as well not talk. Might as well turn it off.

I’ll fuck you and you’ll hate it. You’ll hate it. Not because you don’t want it but because it disgusts you. Because two naked bodies so close is so fucking vile, so filthy. I’ll try to unlock your door but it’s the wrong fucking key. Every guy has the wrong key. Nothing will ever be like the movies and nothing will ever be naturally beautiful. We add the beauty, but humans don’t understand beauty. We don’t understand anything.

I dream of throwing myself off of my balcony but never hitting the ground. Just falling. I’ll dream of jacking off but never coming. I’ll dream of writing but never producing a thought. I’ll dream of dreaming but never waking up. Stuck in my own head. Where I belong.

if you asked me,

"What five books should I read?", I would say...

• Ask the Dust by John Fante
• Factotum by Charles Bukowski
• The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
• Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
• The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac

"What five movies should I watch?", I would say...

• Annie Hall (Woody Allen)
• There Will Be Blood (P.T. Anderson)
• Good Will Hunting (Gus Van Sant)
• Do the Right Thing (Spike Lee)
• The Dark Knight (Christopher Nolan)

"What five albums should I listen to?", I would say...

• 24 Hour Revenge Therapy - Jawbreaker
• Black Sheep Boy - Okkervil River
• A Name Writ in Water - The One AM Radio
• Goddammit - Alkaline Trio
  
• Life. Love. Regret. - Unbroken

10 best films of 2008 (a tentaive list)

A Disclaimer:

Living in Tucson poses some problems when it comes to watching movies. On the plus side, we have an excellent independent movie theater that does a really good job of getting great lesser known movies here into town. On the other hand, these movies tend to come to Tucson very, very late. Sometimes never.

I'm itching to make this list but I have to deal with the problem of some of the most exciting movies released this year I have not seen yet and may not come here til January 2009.

Movies that that have not come to Tucson yet that I assume would make my list, and will be somehow edited into my list If I see fit in the future, are as follows:

- Milk
- The Wrestler
- Frost / Nixon
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- The Reader
- Doubt
- Che

Revolutionary Road has been pushed back world-wide to a limited January 2nd release, which means that won't be here til much later anyhow.

So lets calls this my first draft then.

***

TOP 10 FILMS OF 2008

1. THE DARK KNIGHT

2. SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK

3. WALL-E

4. LET THE RIGHT ONE IN

5. SNOW ANGELS

6. VICKY CRISTINA BARECELONA

7. PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

8. FUNNY GAMES

9. THE FALL

10. THE COUNTERFEITERS

Almost made it:
Religulous
Zach and Miri Make a Porno
Burn After Reading
Iron Man

dear hanukkah fairy,

All I want for Hanukkah is a lifetime's supply of Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk Cliff Bars.

i have the best mom in the world.

My mom won billboard space in a raffle last year. She did this for my birthday. Sure, the writing is sort of cheesy, but I love it. I wish all my friends were in it!

If you want to see it, it's on Broadway inbetween Highland and Euclid, facing east. It's only up til the 14th, so go see it soon!

down til we're underground episode five

Tonight's show felt odd, I guess. I don't know. I liked my playlist but I feel like I sounded like more of an idiot when talking tonight than usual. Oh well. There were some sweet jams tonight, though. Also, the girl before me was trying to show me some lame Barenaked Ladies song or something while "Burning Fight" was playing. Stupid.

DOWN TIL WE'RE UNDERGROUND: EPISODE FIVE

1. "Burning Fight" / Inside Out
2. "Blame" / Failures
3. "Advancement to Ruin" / Black Kites
4. "Burn the Eyes" / Asschapel
5. "Slow Chorus" / 88 Fingers Louie
6. "Get in the Pit" / Vitamin X
7. "Some Kind of Cadwallader" / Algernon Cadwallader
8. "Breakout" / The Steal
9. "Freedom Fucker" / Aerosols
10. "Poisoned Seeds" / Buried Alive
11. "Life as One / Nazi Youth" / Antidote
12. "Love is a Lie" / Cut the Shit
13. "Lake Michigan" / The Broadways
14. "Klan Scouts" / Weekend Nachos
15. "Blinded" / Undertow
16. "Riding With Mary" / Born Against
17. "Whiskey, Women, and Blackguarding" / American Steel
18. "Out For Blood" / YDI
19. "Even Slaves Will Be Swimming In the Blood Of the Iron Fist"/ Backstabbers, Inc.
20. "Rattled" / Crossed Eyes
21. "Famine" / Brain Dead
22. "Set Your Own Pace" / Cryptic Slaughter
23. "Swing Set" / Uruk-Hai
24. "Those Anarcho Punx Are Mysterious" / Against Me!
25. "Turnstiles" / Hot Water Music