all i've been thinking about lately.

I want a PS3 to play MGS4, though. :/

over the shoulder.

I can't help but sit in my dorm room and feel defeated. Uncool. Disliked. Pushed aside. There is an air to me that people do not like, I can tell. There must be something. There has to be. I am pathetic, low, and stupid beyond belief. I knowingly wallow in my own self pity. I am a sad display of a human.

it worked for woody.

Also, if you didn't already know, I'm dropping out. I want to make movies or write a novel. Bob Odenkirk said if I wanted to make films I'd have to live in LA for awhile. Looks like I'll have to suck up my hatred and contempt for that fucking place. Or I'll just become a hermit and write a novel that will never get published.

The point is: Fuck college.

we're getting older but we're acting dumber.

Blake once wrote a song that I'm afraid I'll be able to relate to too much soon too soon.

"Can I call you? Do you still hate me?"

24 is the highest number.

carrie goldberg, i wanted to have sex with you.

Even though my mood has been lousy as of late, this album has been able to put a smile on my face for the past couple of days. Remember how I said Weston's "Got Beat Up" was the quintessential "high school" album? Well, The Steinways' "Missed the Boat" is it's long lost brother. Vocalist/guitarist Garth Madden writes songs about how girls won't have sex with him, how he wished Jewish girls liked him, how he ran out of weed, how a girl he liked is sleeping with her teacher, et cetera. Just a fun album that goes well with the spring weather. Also, A+ for having a Wet Hot American Summer sample on the album too. Download this!

THE STEINWAYS - "MISSED THE BOAT"

down til we're underground episode 10

This one was so much fun. Good music and good times with Ben and Jake in the studio. The show is a lot more fun having people in there with you. We had a nice number of listeners, but I'm hoping we can start getting more (trying to get back to that 20 I had on the last show last semester...). If you didn't catch last night's show, definitely download it. I think it's worth your time.

DOWN TIL WE'RE UNDERGROUND: EPISODE TEN

1. "Let Them Eat Thomas Paine" / Dillinger Four
2. "Controlled Karaoke" / Nodzzz
3. "Socialized Crucifixion" / Assuck
4. "Opportunist" / Joshua Fit For Battle
5. "Fortune" / Marked Men
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6. "Fall of Enchantment" / Earthmover
7. "It Shits!!!" / Bomb the Music Industry!
8. "Small Town Drama" / Nightstick Justice
9. "Trendy Nazi Hypocrites" / The F.U.'s
10. "She Took Him to the Lake" / Alkaline Trio
11. "One and the Same" / Deathreat
12. "Fruitmarket Fantasy" / The Steinways
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13. "Chuck Berry Holiday" / Nobunny
14. "Cease" / Breathing Fire
15. "Kiss of Death" / Buried Alive
16. "Five Finger Discount" / Choking Victim
17. "Rust and Flame" / Guyana Punch Line
18. "Burned Out in a Jar" / Polar Bear Club
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19. "Untitled" / Mammoth Grinder
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20. "Titus Andronicus" / Titus Andronicus
21. "I Saved Latin" / American Nightmare
22. "Make Me a Mixtape" / The Promise Ring
23. "Never Met the Gooch" / Kid Dynamite
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24. "Untitled" / Special Unnamed Band

PAST EPISODES:
Episode One
Episode Two
Episode Three
Episode Four
Episode Five
Episode Six (I was too busy due to finals week and never got a chance to upload this show, which is a shame, because it was a good one.)
Episode Seven
Episode Eight
Episode Nine

elliott smith said it best.

I walked home alone again tonight. No friends. No girl. No nothing but my headphones and Jeff singing to me about how you don't own me how he's happy with his flaws.

I walk past all the bars on 4th and on University and it makes me seethe with utter contempt. I hate all of them. I hate them so much. Their hollow, pathetic lives, but hey, they're happy. They're having the time of their lives being wastes of flesh and bone and fucking and fucking over and fucking off and being fucking done. I can't help but have an expressive frown on my face when I see men with their nice white shirts and pre-distressed jeans try to talk to some girl who's vagina is hanging from below her dress. I can't help but hate their laughs and their stupid shitty lives that I don't even know the first thing about. Maybe they're good people? I don't give a fuck if they are.

I hate everyone I see. Everyone. Every girl who doesn't look at me and every girl who does. I hate every guy who thinks hes better than me and every guy who actually is. My friends? What fucking friends? Who the fuck can I truly relate to except a small, small number (most of which don't even live in this fucking state?). Who do I have to call? Who do I have to cry to? No one and nothing.

I yell "fuck all of you" off my balcony and my hearts beats slow and hard. I hate the sororities that line my street and I hate everyone that I never have to see. I hate too much and too little all at the same time. My life is an enigma.

I'm desperate. I'm disconnected. I'm disenchanted. I'm depressed. I embarrassed myself today in front of the one person who makes me feel sane every so often here and I went back to my room and hit my head against my desk. She probably thinks little of me of now.

Get me out of here. Get me out of this mess. This is what happens. This week has been great. I've been happy. Content. Breathed easy. Tonight changed everything.

I walked home alone again tonight. As always. No one ever walks back. No one goes anywhere. Everyone stays and rots and dies. Fuck all of them. I want to move. I want to breathe. I want to be something. I want to do something. I need people to relate to. I need people to talk to. I need someone to want to be my friend. I need a lot of things. I need everything.

I walked home alone again tonight, and it won't be the last time.

down til we're underground episode nine

I am going to let tonight's show do the talking for itself. HIGHLY recommended listening material. If you listen to one show of mine... make it this one.

DOWN TIL WE'RE UNDERGROUND: EPISODE NINE

1. "Cold Chillen' Cold Chillen' / Stuff Like That I Like" / Bomb the Music Industry!
2. "Adjust Me" / 9 Shocks Terror
3. "Blackout" / Warcry
4. "You Alone" / Pressure
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5. "Asheville" / Rosa
6. "Bloodbath at Burger King"
7. "I Don't Care" / Violent Minds
8. "Retardation Hatred" / Pretty Little Flower
9. "Wake Up and Live" / Youth of Today
10. "HSN1" / Extortion
11. "Me & You" / Walls
12. "Two Way Street" / The State Lottery
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13. REQUEST - "Phill Connoe Is Me" / Perth Express
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14. "2.5 Cliche" / Cold Sweat
15. "You Will Fail" / Takaru
16. "Darker Lens" / Disnihil
17. "Killing a Camera" / Braid
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18. "Invisible Leader" / Fucked Up

PAST EPISODES:
Episode One
Episode Two
Episode Three
Episode Four
Episode Five
Episode Six (I was too busy due to finals week and never got a chance to upload this show, which is a shame, because it was a good one.)
Episode Seven
Episode Eight

probably a mistake.

I started my poetry blog again, which is filled with lackluster and bad poems. I don't feel good at it anymore (not saying I was to begin with). Oh well, hopefully this will force me to improve since I know people will be reading it. I encourage you to comment on them and tell me if you fucking hated them or if you loved them or whatever. Seriously, if you thought it was bad, let me know. I won't take it personally.

http://somepeoplenevergocrazy.blogspot.com/
http://somepeoplenevergocrazy.blogspot.com/
http://somepeoplenevergocrazy.blogspot.com/

"it's blood."

One of the weirder trips I've been on for the most part. We saw two horrible movies at the film festival and two really good ones. Seeing Eric was awesome. We ate good food. Sedona is the biggest yuppified wasteland ever, though.

Back to the daily grind.