the horribleand the miserable.: January 2009

It's that time of year again, where many people - including myself - think the Oscars actually matter (because they do, don't they?!). It's not the fact that I think the Academy is the end-all be-all of movie opinions (they aren't, not by a long shot), but there's something very fun about them. The fact is that even if they do ignore tons of great films, this is some prestigious shit. It's not like it's a Nobel Peace prize or something, but it's close enough to care about it. The Oscars have the legacy now of being the judges of all serious film, and that's something you just can't ignore.

Anyhow, here are my opinions of the nominations and how, for the most part, they fucking suck.

Bold are what I think SHOULD win.

Italics is what probably WILL win.

Then, after the category, I give my opinion.

Also, one more thing: The fact that there are NO nominations for Synecdoche, New York is some of the biggest bullshit ever. It was the second best movie of the year. It's not as big of bullshit as motherfucking Dark Knight not being nominated for best picture, though. Yeah. I'm bitter. On with the show...

Best motion picture of the year

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
* “Frost/Nixon”
* “Milk”
* “The Reader”
* “Slumdog Millionaire”

This year has the weakest best picture line-up ever. Such bullshit. The Reader is one of the worst films I saw all year. Benjamin Button was long, dry, and for the most part uninvolving. Frost/Nixon was good, but not great. Slumdog Millionaire looks fantastic, but that's it - the script is beyond sub-par and the acting is entirely forgettable. Milk is the only movie on this list that was a legitimately great film, and one of my favorites of the year. In a perfect world, Doubt and The Dark Knight would take the place of the Reader and Slumdog Millionaire. And The Dark Knight would win. But alas...

Performance by an actor in a leading role

* Richard Jenkins in “The Visitor”
* Frank Langella in “Frost/Nixon”
* Sean Penn in “Milk”
* Brad Pitt in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
* Mickey Rourke in “The Wrestler”

I have not seen The Wrestler yet (it just came out here this weekend, I'll be seeing it on Sunday), but I imagine Rourke deserves this. But since I haven't seen it, I'm going with Sean Penn, who went above and beyond as Harvey Milk.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

* Josh Brolin in “Milk”
* Robert Downey Jr. in “Tropic Thunder”
* Philip Seymour Hoffman in “Doubt”
* Heath Ledger in “The Dark Knight”
* Michael Shannon in “Revolutionary Road”

Notice how two are bolded? Because both of those were two of my favorite performances of the year. I am an undeniable Philip Seymour Hoffman fanboy, and I thought he was damn near perfect in Doubt. But then there was Heath, who also gave one of the best and most chilling performances of the year...I want both to win, and Heath probably will, and that's fine with me. Josh Brolin was also great in Milk and if the Academy insisted on putting in a comedic performance, they could've done James Franco in Pineapple Express, who was hilarious. Still cool that they have Robert Downey Jr. in there, though.

Performance by an actress in a leading role

* Anne Hathaway in “Rachel Getting Married”
* Angelina Jolie in “Changeling”
* Melissa Leo in “Frozen River”
* Meryl Streep in “Doubt”
* Kate Winslet in “The Reader”

I only saw two of these movies, Doubt and the Reader. I didn't care to see the others. Kate Winslet gave a whatever performance in the Reader, so here's hoping the Academy does right and bestows this upon Meryl Streep.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

* Amy Adams in “Doubt”
* Penélope Cruz in “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”
* Viola Davis in “Doubt”
* Taraji P. Henson in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
* Marisa Tomei in “The Wrestler”

I haven't seen the Wrestler, so again, she could be amazing... but I do know everyone's been blowing their load over Viola Davis so she'll probably get it and deserves it. Penelope Cruz was great too, but I'm afraid I just liked her performance because it was a Woody film. Who knows!

Best animated feature film of the year

* “Bolt”
* “Kung Fu Panda”
* “WALL-E”

I don't even get the point of nominating anything else.

Achievement in directing

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, David Fincher
* “Frost/Nixon”, Ron Howard
* “Milk”, Gus Van Sant
* “The Reader”, Stephen Daldry
* “Slumdog Millionaire”, Danny Boyle

Ugh. So disappointing. Where's Nolan?! And Stephen Daldry?! Really?!

Adapted screenplay

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, Screenplay by Eric Roth, Screen story by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord
* “Doubt”, Written by John Patrick Shanley
* “Frost/Nixon”, Screenplay by Peter Morgan
* “The Reader”, Screenplay by David Hare
* “Slumdog Millionaire”, Screenplay by Simon Beaufoy

Slumdog's script was filled with cliche and trite drivel, but it'll win because it's a "feel good" movie or something. I don't know. And Benjamin Button is just whatever, so maybe they'll choose that, too. So frustrating. Here's to hoping for Doubt...

Original screenplay

* “Frozen River”, Written by Courtney Hunt
* “Happy-Go-Lucky”, Written by Mike Leigh
* “In Bruges”, Written by Martin McDonagh
* “Milk”, Written by Dustin Lance Black
* “WALL-E”, Screenplay by Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon, Original story by Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter

First: WHERE THE FUCK IS SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK? Second: I loved Wall-E, but giving the Best Screenplay award to an animated movie seems too "out there" for the Academy so it'll probably go to Milk, which is fine, too, I guess.

Best foreign language film of the year

* “The Baader Meinhof Complex”, Germany
* “The Class”, France
* “Departures”, Japan
* “Revanche”, Austria
* “Waltz with Bashir”, Israel

I haven't seen any of these but am dying to see The Class and Waltz with Bashir. I think The Class will win, but I mean... I really don't know at all. I wish Sweden entered Let the Right One In for consideration... that would've been great, and would've won. Maybe.

The rest is technical stuff, which I don't have much to say about, but I'll still give my opinion on as it still matters.

Achievement in art direction

* “Changeling”
* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
* “The Dark Knight”
* “The Duchess”
* “Revolutionary Road”

Achievement in cinematography

* “Changeling”
* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
* “The Dark Knight”
* “The Reader”
* “Slumdog Millionaire"

Achievement in costume design

* “Australia”
* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
* “The Duchess”
* “Milk”
* “Revolutionary Road”

Achievement in film editing

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
* “The Dark Knight”
* “Frost/Nixon”
* “Milk”
* “Slumdog Millionaire”

Achievement in makeup

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
* “The Dark Knight”
* “Hellboy II: The Golden Army”

Achievement in sound editing

* “The Dark Knight”
* “Iron Man”
* “Slumdog Millionaire”
* “WALL-E”
* “Wanted”

Achievement in sound mixing

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
* “The Dark Knight”
* “Slumdog Millionaire”
* “WALL-E”
* “Wanted”

Achievement in visual effects

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
* “The Dark Knight”
* “Iron Man”

So that's it. I left off the best shorts and stuff because I have no clue about that shit. Also, the best original song category is the biggest piece of horse shit because it excluded the song "Little Person" from Synecdoche, New York and the Bruce Springsteen song from The Wrestler. Waste of a category.

Now tell me how I'm wrong, how I'm right, or whatever. You have nothing better to do... like me.